The cat is a nutter

Look at this fool.

This is Kismet - mum and dad's bengal. She's a lovely cat but not very affectionate which is a shame as she doesn't really have a coat - she had a pelt and petting it is very moreish.

Anyway, she's got this real thing about this stupid little mouse toy and when you throw it she goes bananas and will do anything to catch it. I've not managed to get a picture of her at the apex of her jump yet but she's usually a foot or so higher than this and it's very cool.

Random I know but I'm really bored just now.

Wind and Rain

There's just so bloody much of it here that I can't seem to get out on the bike. This morning the wind was so strong that I'd definitely would have been blown off. Very frustrating!! Perhaps I should get one of those indoor trainers - might at least prevent me cruising over the finish line in last place!

Clover-pish

Hmm. Went to see the first showing of "Cloverfield" today and was sorely disappointed. Total gash. I don't quite know what I was expecting but it was full of weak characters, horrifically bad acting and a story that was so full of holes you could use it to drain spagetti.

On the plus side some girl exploded into a pile of blood which was cool (even if it was behind a barely transparent curtain) and the actual "monster" was pretty decent. However, if you've ever played Half-Life of Halo 2 then it's not really all that exciting a film.

And the ending? Well let's just say everyone was waiting for more because they didn't know whether it had finished or not.

4/10 (mainly from the special FX point of view).

Working 9 to 5

Well actually Friday, Saturday and Sunday were spent working 1700 - 2400 which is substantially worse than working 9 to 5. It was at Stobhill A&E which was a bit boring but easy money.

That said, the going rate for the clinical assitants is £23.18 per hour (before tax) which is quite dreadful when you consider that the Medacs locums are getting £35 per hour and the GP Reg that was doing a locum there was getting £60 per hour (after midnight he went on to £70 per hour).

And people ask why I'm wanting to go into GP? Even when the are doing the same jobs as us shmucks they still get paid like kings. FFS!

Running....

...I hate it!

Shetland - Part 3

So where was I?

Ah that's right. We were just about to get ourselves ready for Up Helly A. In the town square the Jarl and his squad he erected a large A-frame sandwich board whis had a load of drivel written on it. I tried understand what it was going on about but failed however I did come to the realisation that the names of all the different squads were mentioned throughout the tedious essay.

After leaving that KP and I wandered over to where the Jarl Squad were showing off the galley that they've spent the last year building. I was reasonably impressive but when you consider that they live on Shetland where there is absolutely nothing to do then you have to wonder why, in that time, they hadn't put together something more akin to a working naval battleship or luxury cruise liner. I guess a 20ft wooden viking long boat on wheels was all that was required and as far as those are concerned they'd done a great job.

Then we drank coffee.

Later back at the flat we wrapped up warmly and went out to meet up with some of Matt's Kiwi friends who amusingly pronounce Shetland as "Shitland" - I laughed alot. We had a great view of the 900 or so marching torch bearers as they meandered down the main street pushing the galley. It was then deposited in the middle of the park before finally all 900 flaming torches were chucked onto it setting a whole years worth of work ablaze.

There was a brief firework display and then we all went home and got changed into out threads before going to the TA Hall for the rest of the nights activities. As I mentioned those basically took the form of....

1. Have a drink
2. Do a country dance e.g Strip the Willow
3. A squad comes in a does a skit (or sketch)
4. Go back to 1 and repeat.

We lasted for quite a while although Matt and KP had more in the tanks than I did and by 4am was really concious of the fact that I was going to be flying in a few hours so needed some sleep. Also some girl from Livingston started talking to me for hours and I couldn't get away from her. "Why don't you want to dance?" "My Mum is a psych nurse," "I work in the local bank" "A&E doctors don't know anything about psychiatry!"

Well up yours biatch - I wouldn't come and as you to re-tile my bathroom would I?

Anyway, by 5am I really turned up the moans and eventually the guys agreed to leave. It's a bit of a shame as it had a real Daft Friday feel to it (Google that if you don't know what it is) and by the time we left people were beginning to talk about going to the pub. It would have been a bit of a laugh to go along but I was totally spent.

I got to bed at 7am and then was up at 9:30am packing for the flight. Naomi (one of the Kiwis) somehow had remained sober and was still up (somewhere in Lerwick) and after a hasty phone call from Matt agreed to give us a lift to the airport. It was a bit of a relief to get there on time and after brief and quite poiniant good-byes I was on the plane.

So what did I think of Shetland? Well for all my moaning I had a bloody good time but had KP and Matt not been there then I don't really think that it's a place I would venture to too often. That said, it was awesome to see the guys and Up Helly A was great. The croft we stayed in for the first few nights was also pretty damned good fun but I can see why those two are happy to leave the island for the bright lights of Inverness in a weeks time.

Good luck to them and thanks for having me - Inverness next?

Shetland - Part 2

After a short and very light sleep (for fear of someone coming into the on-call room to find me ZZZing out in their bed Goldie-locks style) I packed the evidence of my stay and wandered into KP and Matt "quarters". As usual it reeked of curry as their flat mate has eaten nothing but Sommerfields Chicken Tikka Marsala for the last 2 months. According to the guys he has had one other thing on the menu in that time and KP prooved this by showing me a jar of Chicken Tikka Marsala sandwich spread! Mind you there was no bread that belonged to him so I must assume that he just eats it straight from the jar when he can't be arsed heating one of his TV dinners. I say TV dinners although he never comes out his room and has certainly never been observed watching TV.

ANYWAY, after Matt had left for work KP and I jumped in the car and went down to the Shetland Museum. It is a relatively new affair having only opened 6 months ago and surprisingly looks brand new despite catering to over 70,000 visitors since it's unveiling in June. It does an incredible job of outlining the history of the Island from days of the Picts through the various ages and owners up to the present day. The authenticity of the artifacts on display is apparent and the museum staff appear to have vast amounts of knowledge on the subject which they are only too happy to share with us punters.

It didn't take long to look round as we skim read everything and mostly talked about "how hardy the locals must be" and how glad we were that we didn't live here permanently. After that we stopped in one of the scarce Lerwick cafes and had lunch consisting of soup and sandwiches - simple but filling. We talked for ages then decided to drop the car back at the flat and walk to one of the local watering holes so I could se how it's done on the Island.

Flints was a dive, but the remaining sun shone weakly through the smokey windows providing the days only natural light so we took a corner window booth to bask in its feeble glow. We had a pint of Strongbow of all things, and talked into the darkening afternoon in this, what can only be described as, "Old Man's Pub". The time went by rapidly and we decided to head home.

It was overcast and spitting as we got back to the flat just in time to meet Matt. After plesantries and liquid refreshments we did a Fish and Chip run to the Happy Haddock which provided us with better than average chow. Not up to Australian standards but kicked the arse out of anything in Glasgow or remotely Central Belt-ish.

A night in front of the box saw us watching the very mediocre "SNL - Best of Dana Carvey" and then some Little Britain which was as always hillarious. Other hilarity came in the unlikey form of a book reading whereby I'd found a book in the bathroom called "Delete this at your Peril" and read, out loud, a chapter to Matt and KP. It was about a man trying to get talking lions sent to him as his reply to an email scam and various other comic anecdotes. A real laugh out loud book!

A restless night with strange noises from the bathroom followed by a late start from me and KP. The Up Helly A' preparations finally went on show today in town and we went down to get a program and see the initial build up to tonights partying.

It's all very secretive, in a Free Mason sort of way, but as far as I can tell this Viking Fire Festival consists of...

1. A main group (the Jarl Squad) of men (about 50) who have been preparing their viking costumes, firey torches, a wooden galley, skits (or sketches) and the 12 "Halls" for the last year.

2. Several other smaller groups or squads prepar their own costumes and skits but have nothing to do with the galley or arranging the halls (but their wives help at the halls).

3. The galley went on display this morning and tonight the street lights all go out and the fire dudes parade down the street in their costumes in front of the gathered townsfolk before chucking all the torches onto the galley and watching it burn whilst singing "The Galley Song".

4. The Halls open and are run by the wives/partners of the Jarl Squad and the other squads.

5. People go to the Hall that they have been invited to where drinking and eating abounds. We've scored tickets to the TA Hall which is run by the Head Jarl's wife so is the most sought after of the Halls. Don't know how Matt blagged these. Whenever we mention it to any of the local they look at us like we've just eaten their child. We don't mention it any more.

6. The squads go from Hall to Hall doing their skits and getting everyone up to dance and sing and drink.

7. This carries on until 8 AM and then the pubs open.

8. Zain misses his flight.

Anyway, hopefully number 8 won't happen but I'll fill you in on the rest of Up Helly A soon and hopefully there'll be some good pictures up soon.